Easter Vice

Looks like the one on the right is sad about losing a leg, no?

Where did these things come from? Who devised this marshmallow and sugar bacchanalia paradise treat? They have been sent here to bring me to my knees. The ultimate end-all to every diet imaginable. A dental hygeinist's nightmare. My friends.

It's too bad that once I get to a third or fourth serving, my stomach begins to feel sour, and the lining of my mouth acquires a film of peepolicious sugar stench. But in the end they are well worth the heartburn and tooth decay, not to mention the strange looks one gets from others when they can hear the sugar-mallow dissolving on your tongue. There are peeps for every holiday, but tomorrow, yes, tomorrow... tomorrow, stores will begin clearing their shelves of these little chickadees at discount prices. Purple, pink, blue and yellow. Bunnies and baby chicks. Single serving and whole box, with three to four rows of fun. Put that pancreas to work.

Some might say that there are two kinds of people in the world, those that are peep-ravenous, and those that are peep-repulsed. This guy was afflicted by the latter-- apparently the peeps will find you if you don't like them.

Beware the peeps! Eat them, love them. And then brush your teeth.