'Tis the Season... [Redux]

... to be jolly -- fa la la la la, la. la. la. la.


A little something different:

You walk outside to the wonderful sound of cars moving like an assembly line to the center, to the heart of Christmas... the department store.

Don't forget to get a present for Molly. I know, we haven't seen her in years -- but really -- she would feel so left out without something to open. What's that? Molly's bringing two presents for everybody? Well then, we can't just get her this silly DVD; get her a box of chocolates too. I bet she'd like that -- and if she doesn't, oh well; I'm not spending anymore.

And they move on. In their earth-powered black transports to the sound of the machine chugging along like the icemaker on your fridge; don't forget to pick up the ice.

So, Grandma and Grandpa's this year? Really? Cool. Nope, I haven't even started shopping yet. I know, it's crazy out there -- you'd think everyone goes shopping at once. Yeah, like, this lady totally cut me off the other day, ya know. A ten-thousand dollar limit? No way. I should get one -- at least then I wouldn't have to worry so much about finding deals for everyone.

Ahhh, glad you got the ice; I didn't want to have to drink a warm gin and tonic. Feel the Christmas spirit! It moves through us like the sound of frantic shudders -- and cash registers.

Get 10% off at Jill's clothing outlet, just in time for the holidays! Blue light specials at M-Mart! Your shoes squeak from the wet and the cold and the damp and the frozen and the timid. Find what you need and be on your way. Shit, there's someone in the isle. How long are they going to stand there? I'm really getting impatient. I wonder if Jimmy would like that (a book: 101 ways to shop smart)?

Stay inside, it's too cold out there. Decorate your tree or something.



*more on this later